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Our Aitz Chaim Community Passover Seder 5774 (2014) was another rousing success. The number of participants surpassed expectations. As always, there were a few memorable impromptu moments, such as the asking of the Four Questions and the search for the Afikomen.

A special thank you to our Seder leader Aaron Weissman, who did a masterful job of guiding us through the Haggadah and the songs. Aaron has led the Seder for several years now. In order to fulfill the mitzvoth of passing on our heritage to the next generation, he says that next year there will be a few younger helpers who will volunteer (or be voluntold) to lead the Seder.

Next year, if not in Jerusalem, we plan to be again at Clark and Lewie’s. Our sincere thanks for their hospitality and expertise at preparing this symbolic meal, especially with the head count rising almost to the very hour of the Seder. After several years, they are really getting the hang of it.

Click the link below for what you may have missed, or for a reminder of the joy we shared as a community on this special night, which is different from all other nights.

Next year, wherever we are, perhaps Aaron should sing the words to an old song:
“What would you say if I sang out a tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song, and I’ll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends. …”

And he does. Thank you, Aaron, and all the friends, old and new, who participated in our Community Seder.

Shall we take it on the road?


EDITOR’S NOTE: Have you had enough parodies of the Academy Award winning song from “Frozen?” How about just one more.

Or two?

I’m sure I can find more.





After the tenth plague, the slaying of all the Egyptian first born, Pharaoh told Moses the Jews were free to leave Egypt. So the Jews packed their carts with their belongings and tried to leave. The problem was, with all the dead Egyptians, the funeral homes could not handle the demand. The end result was streets littered with coffins.

With the streets impassable, the Jews couldn’t get there carts out of their driveways. They complained to Moses. “We can’t get out of Egypt unless you do something about these blocked streets”.

Moses, in turn, called out to G-d. “Lord, please do something about this coffin problem.” Understand, with all the commotion it was hard for G-d to hear what Moses was saying. He thought Moses said ‘Coughin” and responded by turning all the wine into
cough syrup. And that is why, to this day, we drink Passover wine that resembles cough syrup.
As Moses and the children of Israel were crossing the Red Sea, the children of Israel began to complain to Moses of how thirsty they were after walking so far. Unfortunately, they were not able to drink from the walls of water on either side of them, as they were made up of salt-water.

Then, a fish from that wall of water told Moses that he and his family heard the complaints of the people, but that they through their own gills could remove the salt from the water and force it out of their mouths like a fresh water fountain for the Israelites to drink from as they walked by.

Moses accepted this kindly fish’s offer. But before the fish and his family began to help, they told Moses they had a demand. They and their descendants had to be always present at the seder meal that would be established to commemorate the Exodus, since they had a part in the story. When Moses agreed to this, he gave them their name which remains how they are known to this very day, for he said to them, “Go Filter Fish!”
Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn’t even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.

Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above: “You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news.”

Moses was staggered. The voice continued: “You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs”

“You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locusts.”

“You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh’s army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land.”

Moses was stunned. He stammered, “That’s…. that’s fantastic. I can’t believe it! — But what’s the bad news?”

“You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement.”
Q: Why do we have an Haggadah at Passover?
A: So we can Seder right words.

Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?
A: A matzochist.
G-d: And remember Moses, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. It is cruel.
Moses: Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together.
G-d: No, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk.
Moses: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our stomachs.
G-d: No, Moses, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in it’s mother’s milk!!!
Moses: Oh, Lord! Please don’t strike me down for my stupidity! What you mean is we should have a separate set of dishes for milk and a separate set for meat and if we make a mistake we have to bury that dish outside…
G-d: Moses, do whatever you want….
The Computer Engineer’s Haggadah
Release ISRAEL
ISRAEL running in slave mode, cannot release
Set ISRAEL;mode=master
Pharaoh already running in master mode, cannot change ISRAEL
Set Pharaoh;mode=slave
Command ignored
Load Moshe
Deactivate Pharaoh
Pharaoh account hard locked;cannot be deactivated
For i=1 to 10 do plagues
Are you sure? Y

Release ISRAEL
error: ISRAEL uninitialized
Set ISRAEL = 600,000
Release ISRAEL
ISRAEL released

Declare Matza;array(width=20,length=20,height=0)

Move ISRAEL to Sinai
Specify save device
Save ISRAEL with miracle

Move ISRAEL to Sinai

For I=1 to 10 do commandments
Allocation conflict:Commandments cannot be operated with active golden calf routine
Destroy calf
For I=1 to 10 do commandments
Done; commandments stored on hard rock device

Move ISRAEL to desert
Warning! Command could lead to infinite loop
Move ISRAEL to desert;limit=40 years

Build Mishkan
Syntax error
Build Mishkan;owner=Betzalel

Warning: operand terms must be unique
Overload: cannot move all of ISRAEL to CANAAN
set ISRAEL = ISRAEL – (SPIES * 10)
A Jewish man took his Pesach lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. A little while later
a blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzoh to
the blind man. The blind man ran his fingers over the matzoh for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, “Who wrote this nonsense?”
The Seder Plate Song (“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” )
by Dan Ochman
Shank bone on my Seder plate
Helps to make the Seder great
Charoset and some wine to sip
Don’t forget the greens to dip
Bitter herbs and an egg complete
our Seder plate so now let’s eat!


EDITOR’S NOTE: The story is told of a Jew who is traveling on a ship with some merchants. They show off their merchandise and ask the Jew, “What do you have?” He taps his head and says, “Everything I own is in here.” They laugh and call him a fool.

Then a storm hits. The ship sinks and everyone is forced to swim to shore with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They reach a city, but the merchants have nothing to sell. They are forced to beg in the streets.

A few days later they see the Jew, well dressed and well fed. He drops some money in their begging cups. They say to him, “We had so much merchandise, but now we have nothing. You had nothing, but now you have so much. How can that be?”

He taps his head and says, “I told you that everything I own is in here. I have studied all my life and I have knowledge. I am working as a teacher.”

The merchants nod their heads and all agree that knowledge is the best merchandise.

Jews know what it is like to have lost everything and to have nothing, not even a home or a homeland. We have survived by holding on to our knowledge. Each time we have moved, we have brought with us our best merchandise: knowledge of our Torah, our history, our beliefs, our skills and our stories. These stories cannot be lost, stolen, or destroyed, not as long as we keep remembering them and retelling them to each new generation.

As we celebrate the second day of Pesach as a community this April 15, we will once again share our stories and beliefs as a people, and pass them on to our children. Please join us. Next year in Jerusallem! — END OF EDITOR’S NOTE

A long-standing congregation tradition, the Aitz Chaim Community Pesach Seder will be held on the second evening of Passover, on Tuesday, April 15, at the O’Haire Motor Inn meeting room at 7th Street and 1st Avenue South. We will gather at 5:15pm, the Seder service will start at 5:30pm.

The cost of this year’s meal, which will include

  1. matzo ball soup
  2. brisket with pearl onions and apricots
  3. honey lemon chicken
  4. salad
  5. roasted potatoes
  6. vegetable
  7. dessert

will be $27 for Adult Congregation Members and $36 for non-Members.

If there ARE any participants under 12yo let me know, and we will inquire about a child’s rate. This fee covers all of our costs for a traditional Passover Seder, including matzo, the traditional symbolic foods, kosher wine and grape juice.

Please send your reservation and payment for the meal to the congregation at 1015 1st Ave N., or via email to Laura Weiss, You can also pay for your reservation through the “PayPal” link on this page. All reservations are expected to be paid before the Seder begins. We need to have a final count to the caterer by April 7. The final date when we can accept cancellations is April 10, and we will be unable to accommodate refunds if you are unable to attend and do not inform us by that date.

Submitted by Aitz Chaim Congregation President Laura Weiss

The Maccabeats present Les Misérables – Passover

Matzah in Great Falls?

So far, we have been unsuccessful in finding any retailer in Great Falls that is carrying kosher-for-Passover products. Has anyone else had any luck finding any matzah?

Make your Reservations for the Community Passover Seder NOW!

photo caption

Traditional arrangement of symbolic foods on a Passover Seder Plate (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our community Passover seder is coming up in only two weeks! The seder will be held on the evening of Tuesday, March 26 at the meeting room at Clark and Lewie’s restaurant, 7th Street and 1st Ave South.

We need your RSVP as soon as possible! You can make your reservation on our website, by visiting, by sending Laura Weiss an email at or by calling her at 452-8621.