Category Archives: April

ALWAYS REMEMBER …

THE ONE MINUTE HAGGADAH

Only Technion-Israel Institute of Technology students can do this – the Passover story in just one minute!

Submitted by Jerry Weissman

MORE CORN

Q: Define: Genius
A: A “C” student with a Jewish mother.

Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
A: Fillet minyan.

Q: What kind of cheese melts on a piece of matza to make a passover pizza?
A: Matzarello

Q: what does a Jewish pirate say?
A: Ahoy vey!

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I’m serious. That Israeli how he does it.

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah – he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.

Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson – he brought the house down.

Q: What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A: They raised Cain.

Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A: Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.

Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
A. They used floodlights.

Q. Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
A. He only had two worms!

Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David: he rocked Goliath to sleep.

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Q. If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.

Q. Which area of the Land of Israel was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan: the banks were always overflowing.

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

Q. Which Biblical character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

TERIYAKI MADNESS: OPENING APRIL 3, 2017 (7 Nissan, 5777)

Teriyaki Madness
Address: 1710 10th Ave S, Great Falls, MT 59405
Business Hours: Open 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily
Phone Number (406) 315-3388
Japanese,
Asian Fusion,
Hawaiian

Hello Great Falls! Big bowls of Teriyaki Madness here!

Teriyaki Madness is known for its Seattle-style teriyaki, serving big bowls of bold, delicious flavors made-to-order with fresh ingredients. All dishes use all-natural meats that are marinated and grilled with noodles or three kinds of rice and fresh vegetables and served with one of seven home-made sauces. Customers can choose a bowl or plate and then load it with teriyaki chicken, steak or tofu and add yakisoba noodles, white, brown or fried rice. With fresh-cut veggies, the bowls are customized as low-carb and gluten-friendly, with the average price per bowl around $8.

Meet the Business Owner Aaron Weissman

“I am excited to bring big, delicious bowls of teriyaki to Great Falls!  Try our food and I am sure that you will be hooked.”

GRAND OPENING: APRIL 5-6, 2017

Takes Reservations No
Take-out Yes
Accepts Credit Cards Yes
Accepts Apple Pay No
Accepts Bitcoin No
Parking Private Lot
Bike Parking Yes
Wheelchair Accessible Yes
Alcohol No
Outdoor Seating Yes
Wi-Fi Free
Has TV Yes
Dogs Allowed No
Waiter Service No
Caters Yes
Offers Military Discount Yes
Gender Neutral Restrooms Yes

http://www.krtv.com/story/35046444/sneak-peek-teriyaki-madness-in-great-falls#.WOIRMD5Ii04ddress:

YAHRZEITS — APRIL, 2017, NISSAN–IYAR, 5777

RAM’S HORN POLICY FOR LISTING YAHRZEIT MEMORIALS:!
Yahrzeit memorials are listed by consecutive Gregorian month, date, and year, if known, or at the beginning of the list for one calendar year following the date of passing.

Compiled by Aitz Chaim over many years, this list is maintained by the Ram’s Horn. Please send any corrections or additions to editor@aitzchaim.com
May the source of peace send peace to all who mourn, and comfort to all who are bereaved.

Name of
Deceased
English Date of Passing Hebrew Date of Passing Deceased Relationship to
Congregant
Lydia (Leah) Bailey Mar 31, 2017 4 Nissan, 5777 Mother of Karen (Chaya) Semple
Marion Kelman May 19, 2016 11 Iyyar, 5776 Sister-in-law of Evelyn Kelman
Sheldon Maznek May 20, 2016 12 Iyar, 5776 Brother of Evelyn Kelman
Sherri Estil Hopperstad Apr 4, 2003 2 Nissan, 5763
Sandra Albachari Apr 4, 2005 24 Adar II, 5765 Mother of Julie Nice
Margaret Slate Breslauer Apr 6, 1969 18 Nissan, 5729 Mother of Bruce Breslauer
Sid Kelman Apr 6, 2003 4 Nissan, 5763 Brother-in-law of Evelyn Kelman
Naomi Bay Kaplan Apr 8, 2007 20 Nissan, 5767 Grandmother of Kai Nealis
Heidi Espelin Apr 11, 1986 2 Nissan, 5746 Sister of Dawn Schandelson
Esther Nagel Lyndon Apr 12, 2012 18 Adar, 5772 Aunt of Meriam Nagel
Elaine Thall Apr 15, 2006 17 Nisan, 5766 Mother of Terry Thall
Maurice Weissman Apr 16, 1991 2 Iyyar, 5751 Father of Jerry Weissman
Gary Cohn Apr 17, 1984 15 Nissan, 5744 Brother of Arlyne Reichert
Harry Wasserman Apr 19, 2003 17 Nissan, 5763 Father of Miriam Wolf
Irving Greenfield Apr 28, 2000 23 Nissan, 5760

Corn for Passover

EDITOR’S NOTE: Didn’t someone decide recently that corn was Kosher for Passover?

Our Great Falls community Seder is coming up. There might be some corny jokes told but probably not. Here is the only one running this morning.

Who was the best businesswoman in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter! She pulled a profit out of the water!

See you at the Seder!

Jerry Weissman

PESACH IS COMING SOON! PLEASE RSVP ASAP!

The annual Aitz Chaim community Seder will be held Tuesday evening, April 11, at The O’Haire Motor Inn, 17 7th Street South at 5:30pm. That is in just 2 short weeks! Please get your reservations in ASAP! We need to get the count to the caterer by April 6.

Please send your RSVP to Laura Weiss at weissbill@bresnan.net.

The meal will include all the traditional fixings and a multi course dinner including matzo ball soup, salad, brisket, chicken, potato, vegetable, and dessert. Cost will be $28 per member adult, $38 per non-member adult. Children under 13 are half price. A vegetarian main course can be made available upon advance request. The Seder will be led (by popular demand) by Aaron Weissman.

Payment is preferred in advance unless other arrangements have been made. Please be aware you will be responsible for the cost if you do not attend and have not canceled prior to April 6.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Submitted by Congregation President Laura Weiss

THE COUNTING OF THE OMER

http://www.jewfaq.org/holidayb.htm

WHAT CAN A VEGAN EAT AT SEDER?

http://www.latimes.com/food/la-fo-vegan-passover-cooking-20160416-story.html

KITNIYOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER – CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT RULES – FOOD — FORWARD.COM

http://forward.com/culture/food/338525/conservative-movement-overturns-800-year-old-passover-ban-on-rice-and-legum/

Contributed by Aaron Weissman