Category Archives: April
MORE CORN
Q: Define: Genius
A: A “C” student with a Jewish mother.
Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
A: Fillet minyan.
Q: What kind of cheese melts on a piece of matza to make a passover pizza?
A: Matzarello
Q: what does a Jewish pirate say?
A: Ahoy vey!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I’m serious. That Israeli how he does it.
Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah – he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.
Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson – he brought the house down.
Q: What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A: They raised Cain.
Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A: Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
A. They used floodlights.
Q. Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
A. He only had two worms!
Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David: he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.
Q. If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.
Q. Which area of the Land of Israel was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan: the banks were always overflowing.
Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
Q. Which Biblical character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
TERIYAKI MADNESS: OPENING APRIL 3, 2017 (7 Nissan, 5777)
Teriyaki Madness
Address: 1710 10th Ave S, Great Falls, MT 59405
Business Hours: Open 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily
Phone Number (406) 315-3388
Japanese,
Asian Fusion,
Hawaiian
Hello Great Falls! Big bowls of Teriyaki Madness here!
Teriyaki Madness is known for its Seattle-style teriyaki, serving big bowls of bold, delicious flavors made-to-order with fresh ingredients. All dishes use all-natural meats that are marinated and grilled with noodles or three kinds of rice and fresh vegetables and served with one of seven home-made sauces. Customers can choose a bowl or plate and then load it with teriyaki chicken, steak or tofu and add yakisoba noodles, white, brown or fried rice. With fresh-cut veggies, the bowls are customized as low-carb and gluten-friendly, with the average price per bowl around $8.
Meet the Business Owner Aaron Weissman
“I am excited to bring big, delicious bowls of teriyaki to Great Falls! Try our food and I am sure that you will be hooked.”
GRAND OPENING: APRIL 5-6, 2017
Takes Reservations No
Take-out Yes
Accepts Credit Cards Yes
Accepts Apple Pay No
Accepts Bitcoin No
Parking Private Lot
Bike Parking Yes
Wheelchair Accessible Yes
Alcohol No
Outdoor Seating Yes
Wi-Fi Free
Has TV Yes
Dogs Allowed No
Waiter Service No
Caters Yes
Offers Military Discount Yes
Gender Neutral Restrooms Yes
http://www.krtv.com/story/35046444/sneak-peek-teriyaki-madness-in-great-falls#.WOIRMD5Ii04ddress:
YAHRZEITS — APRIL, 2017, NISSAN–IYAR, 5777
RAM’S HORN POLICY FOR LISTING YAHRZEIT MEMORIALS:!
Yahrzeit memorials are listed by consecutive Gregorian month, date, and year, if known, or at the beginning of the list for one calendar year following the date of passing.
Compiled by Aitz Chaim over many years, this list is maintained by the Ram’s Horn. Please send any corrections or additions to editor@aitzchaim.com
May the source of peace send peace to all who mourn, and comfort to all who are bereaved.
| Name of Deceased |
English Date of Passing | Hebrew Date of Passing | Deceased Relationship to Congregant |
| Lydia (Leah) Bailey | Mar 31, 2017 | 4 Nissan, 5777 | Mother of Karen (Chaya) Semple |
| Marion Kelman | May 19, 2016 | 11 Iyyar, 5776 | Sister-in-law of Evelyn Kelman |
| Sheldon Maznek | May 20, 2016 | 12 Iyar, 5776 | Brother of Evelyn Kelman |
| Sherri Estil Hopperstad | Apr 4, 2003 | 2 Nissan, 5763 | |
| Sandra Albachari | Apr 4, 2005 | 24 Adar II, 5765 | Mother of Julie Nice |
| Margaret Slate Breslauer | Apr 6, 1969 | 18 Nissan, 5729 | Mother of Bruce Breslauer |
| Sid Kelman | Apr 6, 2003 | 4 Nissan, 5763 | Brother-in-law of Evelyn Kelman |
| Naomi Bay Kaplan | Apr 8, 2007 | 20 Nissan, 5767 | Grandmother of Kai Nealis |
| Heidi Espelin | Apr 11, 1986 | 2 Nissan, 5746 | Sister of Dawn Schandelson |
| Esther Nagel Lyndon | Apr 12, 2012 | 18 Adar, 5772 | Aunt of Meriam Nagel |
| Elaine Thall | Apr 15, 2006 | 17 Nisan, 5766 | Mother of Terry Thall |
| Maurice Weissman | Apr 16, 1991 | 2 Iyyar, 5751 | Father of Jerry Weissman |
| Gary Cohn | Apr 17, 1984 | 15 Nissan, 5744 | Brother of Arlyne Reichert |
| Harry Wasserman | Apr 19, 2003 | 17 Nissan, 5763 | Father of Miriam Wolf |
| Irving Greenfield | Apr 28, 2000 | 23 Nissan, 5760 |
Corn for Passover
EDITOR’S NOTE: Didn’t someone decide recently that corn was Kosher for Passover?
Our Great Falls community Seder is coming up. There might be some corny jokes told but probably not. Here is the only one running this morning.
Who was the best businesswoman in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter! She pulled a profit out of the water!
See you at the Seder!
Jerry Weissman
PESACH IS COMING SOON! PLEASE RSVP ASAP!
The annual Aitz Chaim community Seder will be held Tuesday evening, April 11, at The O’Haire Motor Inn, 17 7th Street South at 5:30pm. That is in just 2 short weeks! Please get your reservations in ASAP! We need to get the count to the caterer by April 6.
Please send your RSVP to Laura Weiss at weissbill@bresnan.net.
The meal will include all the traditional fixings and a multi course dinner including matzo ball soup, salad, brisket, chicken, potato, vegetable, and dessert. Cost will be $28 per member adult, $38 per non-member adult. Children under 13 are half price. A vegetarian main course can be made available upon advance request. The Seder will be led (by popular demand) by Aaron Weissman.
Payment is preferred in advance unless other arrangements have been made. Please be aware you will be responsible for the cost if you do not attend and have not canceled prior to April 6.
Looking forward to seeing you there!
Submitted by Congregation President Laura Weiss
KITNIYOT KOSHER FOR PASSOVER – CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT RULES – FOOD — FORWARD.COM
Contributed by Aaron Weissman
LARGEST GEFILTE FISH CAUGHT IN THE WILD
Jews in North Central Montana, and especially in Great Falls, are getting ready for Pesach. Here is a photo, taken yesterday, on Holter Lake. This Gefilte Fish should feed the entire congregation, up to 150 people at the Seder at Clark and Lewie’s this year. It is swimming in Jellied broth until needed.
Address is 17 7th Street South, Great Falls, Montana.
Meeting room at the O’Hare Manor.
Saturday, April 23, 2016, 5:30 P.M.
Cost is $30.00 for Congregation Members or $40.00 for non Members.
Make your reservation now, and don’t miss your chance to partake of this rare Gefilte Fish.
Submitted by Jerry Weissman
PESACH SEDER INFORMATION — SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 2016 (15 Nisan, 5776)
Please join us for our annual community Passover Seder, to be held on the second night of Passover.
- Date: Saturday, April 23, 2016.
- Time: 5:30 P.M. Please come a little early so we can start on time.
- Place: Banquet room, in basement of Clark and Lewie’s, 7th Street and 1st Avenue North.
- Price: Members, $30.00.
- Members children under 13 years old: $15.00.
- Nonmembers, $40.00.
You will receive a call inviting you to the Seder. Please make your reservation by calling or emailing Laura Weiss, president@aitzchaim.com, 452-8621. Please have your reservations made no later than noon on Thursday, April 18, 2016. Any cancellations after April 18 cannot be refunded.
Your meal will include all the traditional foods and symbols, including wine, matzoh, haroset, etc. As always, there will be matzoh ball soup, salad, and vegetables, roasted potatoes and dessert. You will have the choice of brisket and/or chicken as a main dish.
Please make checks payable to the Great Falls Hebrew Association (GFHA) and send or drop them off to the following address:
Great Falls Hebrew Association
c/o Wendy Weissman, CPA, PC
525 Central Avenue, Suite U-4
Great Falls, MT 59401
Thank you. We look forward to seeing you at our Community Seder.
The Aitz Chaim Ram's Horn 