These are some of the fabulous Jewish Comedians that you may remember, the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days:

• Shecky Greene
• Red Buttons
• Totie Fields
• Joey Bishop
• Milton Berle
• Jan Murray
• Danny Kaye
• Henny Youngman
• Buddy Hackett
• Sid Caesar
• Groucho Marx
• Jackie Mason
• Victor Borge
• Woody Allen
• Joan Rivers
• Lenny Bruce
• George Burns
• Allan Sherman
• Jerry Lewis
• Peter Sellers
• Carl Reiner
• Shelley Berman
• Gene Wilder
• Georgie Jessel
• Alan King
• Mel Brooks
• Phil Silvers
• Jack Carter
• Rodney Dangerfield
• Don Rickles
• Jack Benny
• Mansel Rubenstein
• and so many others.

And there was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples:

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me!

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen, saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”

* Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I am 60!” Doctor: “See!… What did I tell you?”

* Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”

* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge said, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk retorted, “Okay, let’s get started.”

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

* The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

* There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

Submitted by Helen Cherry