These are some of the fabulous Jewish Comedians that you may remember, the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days:

  • Shecky Greene
  • Red Buttons
  • Totie Fields
  • Joey Bishop
  • Milton Berle
  • Jan Murray
  • Danny Kaye
  • Henny Youngman
  • Buddy Hackett
  • Sid Caesar
  • Groucho Marx
  • Jackie Mason
  • Victor Borge
  • Woody Allen
  • Joan Rivers
  • Lenny Bruce
  • George Burns
  • Allan Sherman
  • Jerry Lewis
  • Peter Sellers
  • Carl Reiner
  • Shelley Berman
  • Gene Wilder
  • Georgie Jessel
  • Alan King
  • Mel Brooks
  • Phil Silvers
  • Jack Carter
  • Rodney Dangerfield
  • Don Rickles
  • Jack Benny
  • Mansel Rubenstein
  • and so many others.

And there was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples:

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me!

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen, saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”

* Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I am 60!” Doctor: “See!… What did I tell you?”

* Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”

* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge said, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk retorted, “Okay, let’s get started.”

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

* The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

* There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

Submitted by Helen Cherry

Posted on December 15, 2016, in 2016, 5777, December, Joke, Kislev, Ram's Horn. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. They were very funny. My father used to love to hear lots of them. thank you for the memory Joy!

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