REMEMBER WHEN?

These are some of the fabulous Jewish Comedians that you may remember, the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days:

  • Shecky Greene
  • Red Buttons
  • Totie Fields
  • Joey Bishop
  • Milton Berle
  • Jan Murray
  • Danny Kaye
  • Henny Youngman
  • Buddy Hackett
  • Sid Caesar
  • Groucho Marx
  • Jackie Mason
  • Victor Borge
  • Woody Allen
  • Joan Rivers
  • Lenny Bruce
  • George Burns
  • Allan Sherman
  • Jerry Lewis
  • Peter Sellers
  • Carl Reiner
  • Shelley Berman
  • Gene Wilder
  • Georgie Jessel
  • Alan King
  • Mel Brooks
  • Phil Silvers
  • Jack Carter
  • Rodney Dangerfield
  • Don Rickles
  • Jack Benny
  • Mansel Rubenstein
  • and so many others.

And there was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few examples:

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

* I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me!

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen, saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”

* Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I am 60!” Doctor: “See!… What did I tell you?”

* Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”

* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge said, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk retorted, “Okay, let’s get started.”

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

* The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

* There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

Submitted by Helen Cherry

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Posted on December 15, 2016, in 2016, 5777, December, Joke, Kislev, Ram's Horn. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. They were very funny. My father used to love to hear lots of them. thank you for the memory Joy!

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