Q: Define: Genius
A: A “C” student with a Jewish mother.
Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
A: Fillet minyan.
Q: What kind of cheese melts on a piece of matza to make a passover pizza?
Q: what does a Jewish pirate say?
A: Ahoy vey!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I’m serious. That Israeli how he does it.
Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah – he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson – he brought the house down.
Q: What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
A: They raised Cain.
Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A: Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
A. They used floodlights.
Q. Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
A. He only had two worms!
Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David: he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.
Q. If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.
Q. Which area of the Land of Israel was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan: the banks were always overflowing.
Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
Q. Which Biblical character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.